It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
