i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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