I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
