I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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