i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
