I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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