..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Bring me that man meat
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
