Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
