Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
