I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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