The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
