Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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