I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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