thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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