Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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