Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize