Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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