See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
