omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
