You're my little dorito
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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