but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
