Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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