Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
