the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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