So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
