So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
