i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
