We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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