Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
