too bad you live with your parents still
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
