Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
