Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he thought i was a dude.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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