Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
