C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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