Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
