you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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