Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm really busy with my period
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
