The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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