I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize