we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize