Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
