google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
