So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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