the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize