I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
