I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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