So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
meet me or not, i'm out of control
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
