i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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