dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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