It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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