i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
