So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
