And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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