you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
