I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
