The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
